The Play's The Thing Well Not Really
by kyo-kun-luver
Summary: Akatsuki clan decides to raise money by putting on a play. Well, thing's don't always turn out so well.


The Akatsuki members stood around on a stage, mumbling quietly to themselves. They could hear the crowd talking and muttering to one another how this would come about. People scurried on stage, a little worried about what was going to happen.

Hidan, one of the people scurrying around, was wearing a dress. He felt quite uncomfortable wearing that frilly thing. He then suddenly caught the hem of the skirt with his foot and went down. Meaning fell down. On the stage. With a loud thud.

"Fuck this!" he yelled as he stumbled up and began regaining balance. "Who the hell's idea was this to do a fucking play in the first place?"

Akatsuki members turned to stare at him. The leader gave him _the look_. "We need money and putting on a play helps….Kind of"

"Don't we lose profits?" asked Kisame, quite confused. "I mean, we have to pay for costumes, the theater, makeup, and a lot of paper. We're not getting much profit out of this, since it's not even a full house"

Deidara and Itachi nodded slowly. They weren't really pleased for doing the play as well.

"Well why the fuck do I have to be a girl?" yelled Hidan. He then pointed at Deidara. "He looks like a shit woman! He's got the hair!"

Deidara threw his hand up and turned his head the other way. "Talk to the hand!" he said as his hand stuck out the tongue. "I don't want to be in this play as much as you do"

Actually, no one really wanted to be in the play. Even the leader felt quite uncomfortable wearing tights. He wasn't sure whether it was natural for people to wear these things. The only one who was really into this was Tobi.

Tobi was swooshing his skirt from side to side. "Oooh! Yeah! Swoosh and swoosh!" he said, cheerfully. "Tobi's a good boy!" He then ran around the stage while Diedara tried to catch him and hold him down. Tobi had forgotten to put on the wig that no one knew where it came from. No one really wanted to know, actually.

"Well, curtain goes up in two minutes. Break a leg" said Itachi as he walked off to the side.

"What a cruel bastard! He wants us to break each other!" yelled Hidan.

The leader stared at him. "It's an expression in theater. It means good luck. You're not allowed to say that though. Because if you say good luck, it screws the play. It's also like saying Macbeth. Machbeth also screws the whole play. That's why you shouldn't say Macbeth" he said, not realizing he was cursing the whole play.

Hidan gave a dramatic sigh and went off into the sidelines, awaiting his cue.

"Well, showtime everyone" said the leader as he walked through the curtains, about to tell the people what they were presenting.

* * *

"Good evening everyone. We're doing a presentation of 'The Taming of the Shrew'. Zetsu found a script about it when….Doing something really not needed to be discussed at this moment" said the leader as he quickly rushed out from the front.

There wasn't much of a crowd. The people who had only clapped after that was Hinata and Neji. Well there was Sakura but she then booed afterwards. Temari and Shikamaru quickly exited, knowing their money had gone to waste. They knew there wasn't much of a point. Naruto had fallen asleep as the leader had spoken. Sasuke held up a sign saying, 'I hope you fail Itachi!!!! Boooo!!!'

Then, the curtains began to be pulled as the stage was set. Itachi was on stage as well as the leader, Deidara, Kisame, Tobi and Zetsu. Oh, and Hidan was up there as well.

Kisame was the first to speak. "Gentlemen content you" he muttered quietly. Most of the audience couldn't hear him.

Deidara and Hidan snickered at him.

Kisame mumbled a bunch of other words that no one understood.

Hidan then began to have a breakdown. "Hell no! I'm not helping out with this fuckshit play! I'm out of here!" he yelled as he quickly stormed off stage, ripping off his dress.

Tobi stared at him and laughed and followed him off.

Deidara shook his head in disappointment. This was a total failure. People were gonna ask for their money back. "Well, we screwed this in only two seconds" he replied as he walked off as well.

Everyone else on stage looked quite awkward. They weren't sure what to do at that moment. Kisame ran off stage, fearing that his tights were cutting off his circulation.

Zetsu left with him, not really sure why he was going at all.

The leader shook his head. "No refunds to anyone. Don't bother asking" he muttered under his breathe as he left the stage.

Itachi looked at his brother who was still holding the sign. "I'll get you…" he said quietly. Itachi then quietly moved off stage.

The audience was totally confused. Was that all? Seriously? They hadn't paid that much to get in but it seemed quite strange that it was so short. They all went home, or whatever they consider home. Actually, Naruto was the only one who stayed. It was only because he was sleeping still.

* * *

Neji and Hinata were threatening to sue Akatsuki for not giving a well-performed show.

Tenten and Shikamaru were right; the show was a waste of time and no one had really gotten anything good out of it.

Naruto threatened to sue because his bench wasn't comfortable to sleep on and he hadn't got the ramen he had been bribed with by Tobi.

Itachi later that week posted a saucy fanfic of Sasuke and Sai. Sasuke had nightmare for quite a while after that.

Someone was threatening to tell everyone who hadn't come to the play about Hidan being in a dress. Hidan had done some crazy things like getting drunk and feeding Kisame shark soup because the person who was blackmailing him told him to. Eventually, someone found out it was Zetsu. Hidan cussed for about two weeks but eventually stopped.

Kisame had a sad little moment when he found out he had eaten one of his own.

Tobi is still wearing the skirt, and happily swooshing it.

Deidara and the leader did nothing. They're not that fascinating anyways.

* * *

Author's Notes: I have about ten to twenty minutes to kill before I have to help out with the stupid school play. Booo. I held up signs last Monday and told people not to come. We have a full house, though. Darn. Anyways, I thought I might do something in my 'free time.' 


End file.
